MY FIRST VISION QUEST - Ojito Wilderness
On May 17th, I participated in what would turn out to be the most profound experience I could ever imagine, Vision Quest in the Ojito Wilderness.
What is a Vision Quest, you may ask: A vision quest is a rite of passage in some Native American cultures. The ceremony of the vision quest is one of the most universal and ancient means to find spiritual guidance and purpose. In practicing cultures, a vision quest is said to provide deep understanding of one's life purpose. A traditional Native American vision quest consists of a person spending one to four days and nights secluded in nature. This provides time for deep communion with the fundamental forces and spiritual energies of creation and self-identity. During this time of intense spiritual communication a person can receive profound insight into themselves and the world. This insight, typically in the form of a dream of Vision, relates directly to their purpose and destiny in life. In many Native American groups the vision quest is a turning point in life taken to find oneself and the intended spiritual and life direction. The vision quest is often used as a Rite of Passage, marking the transition between childhood and full acceptance into society as an adult. A person’s first vision quest is typically done during their transformative teenage years. When an older child is ready, he will go on a personal, spiritual quest alone in the wilderness, often in conjunction with a period of fasting. This usually lasts for a number of days while the child is attuned to the spirit world. Usually, a Guardian animal or force of nature will come in a vision or dream and give guidance for the child's life. A vision quest helps the teenager to access spiritual communication and form complex abstract thoughts. Through this Rite of Passage the child becomes an adult, taking responsibility for themselves and their individual contribution to a healthy society. The child returns to the tribe and once the child has grown he or she will pursue that direction in life. After a vision quest, the child may become an apprentice of an adult in the tribe of the shown direction (Medicine Man, boat-maker and so on). The vision quest is the learning and initiation process of the apprentice under the guidance of an elder.
I decided to participate in the Vison Quest, approximately three months prior to May 17th. The Vision Quest was led by my beautiful partner Amy, a Santa Fe Therapist and Southwestern College graduate, who has particpated in Vision Quest, two times, assisted in one and led two. The fact that she was leading my first Vision Quest, gave me comfort and a sense of safety, as well as more insight to the beautiful person and partneer she is.
Not long after I decided to participate, I began thinking about my intentions for my participation. Transformation and confronting my fears were at the top of my intention list, as well as many other things. Having begun to set my intentions, I began having extrememly vivid dreams about a confrontation with a rattle snake. All of my life, I have felt a strong spiritrual connection to Native American life and culture. The dreams continued up until the time we left for the Ojito Wilderness.
Prior to leaving for the actual Vision Quest, the participants (myself and one other gentleman) are required to embark on a Medicine Walk for at least 3 hours, secluded in nature.What is a Medicine Walk:
"The Medicine Walk and Ecopsychology
You are invited to explore your relationships to nature and to your life’s journey through the medium of open time and unplanned travel in a natural place. This description is based on the way it was introduced to me by Steven Foster and Meredith Little, founders of the School of Lost Borders. The roots of this activity lie in an aquifer of ancient and nearly-universal practices; its forms reflect the modern fields of ecopsychology and transpersonal psychology. From a variety of sources, including psychology, environmental education and philosophy, natural history, the worldviews of land-centered peoples – both ancient and modern, and earth-centered spirituality, ecopsychology offers insights about human-nature relationships. Among ecopsychology’s central themes are that humans and nature are part of a larger whole, that nature (both inner and outer) is intrinsically healthy, that the illusion of a separation of humans from nature causes great suffering both for humans and for the natural environment, and that a deep and profound reconnection is both necessary and possible. Ecopsychology holds that an intimate relationship with the natural world is essential to optimal mental health.
These are insights which need to be rediscovered anew by each one of us. Unless they are experienced deeply within the context of your own life, they will remain empty concepts or, worse, dogmatic belief. This practice grounds the theory of ecopsychology in direct contact with nature; a medicine walk provides an opportunity for this reconnection. The exercise presented here has its roots in one of the oldest of human spiritual practices: leaving one’s familiar world to wander, opening to new insights and gifts through direct and immediate contact with the wildness of the world, and returning to share this gift for the benefit of one’s people and one’s place.
The Medicine Walk and Life Transitions
The practice of the medicine walk also invites us to explore your own relationships to our life transitions. Based on the nearly-universal myths of the First Nations and Native American vision quests, Australian Aboriginal walkabouts, and other wilderness-based rites of passage, the medicine walk has many of the elements of longer and more thorough rites of passage.
From the point of view of ecopsychology, change and transformation are natural and necessary. The predictable distress of transitions is a sign of growth and can be an opportunity for discovering profound support for yourself and your life’s journey.
Integrating these perspectives, the medicine walk is not only a means of connecting to nature, but also a means of connecting to your own sources of guidance and support during life transitions. It helps provide answers to the basic questions of a life-transition: where am I going?, what must I leave behind?, what do I need to learn now?, and what will I have to offer from the next phase of my life? It may also be used as part of a healing or renewal, offering answers to questions such as what do I need to see about my life now? what parts of my inner self do I need to reclaim?, what will help me move toward greater wholeness?, and what can I offer to my People and my Place? Medicine, here, refers to your unique expression of presence, power, and human potential, what you need in order to be whole, and what you have to offer others. I use the term in its original Greek sense of guidance. Medicine is guidance toward wholeness. Sometimes it is bitter to taste; sometimes sweet. Either way, it is growthful if we are able to take it in. Your medicine is both a gift from outside and a quality of your inner nature.
This version of the medicine walk is not intended to substitute for a rite of passage. A full-fledged rite of passage would involve more commitment (such as three or four days of solitude and fasting in the forms we typically use), and it would be recognized by one’s community as conferring a new status on the quester. Nevertheless, many people have used a medicine walk as preparation for a longer and more intensive vision fast. For more information on rites of passage and a larger context for the medicine walk, I recommend the books by Steven Foster and Meredith Little (1988, 1989).
The Practice
The Medicine Walk is designed around one day in a natural area, starting at sun-up and ending at sun-down. The basic prototype of the Medicine Walk can easily be expanded into a 24-hour, two-day, or longer exercise, and others have found value in shorter trips as well. However, we encourage you to try to make it at least a full day. The natural cycle of dawn to sunset provides a fitting container for your experiences.
You will take a specific question with you or carry a specific task on your Medicine Walk. Beyond that, your Walk is essentially aimless, with no particular goal in mind. The question or task you take will vary with your own needs, but we have found that the more clearly you can articulate the purpose of your Walk, the more profound its results can be. Spend time before the Walk clarifying its purpose for you. This is not just a day hike, it is a ceremony of sorts. Why are you leaving home and going to this trouble? The answer goes well beyond rest and recreation. Questions other have taken with them include these: What do I need to remember at this point in my life? Who are my People; whom or what do I serve? What do I need to let go of in order to go forward with my life? What is blocking my current transition? What do I need now in my journey toward greater wholeness, health, and meaning? Am I ready to take the next step in my life? One of the most profound questions you can take with you is, What is my medicine; what do I need in my life in order to be whole, and what do I have to offer to the world for its healing? Let yourself come to more and more profound questions in preparation for your Medicine Walk.
On your Walk, alternate walking and resting as you choose, and let yourself wander. Pay special attention to "calls" you may get during your walk: a particular tree or rock that captures your attention, a stream that interests you, a bird, rabbit, or deer that asks you to follow for a way. You may let the lay of the land dictate your journey, or you may just "follow your nose." Bring a journal and use it to record thoughts, images, and insights. At some point during your Walk you will find an object that represents the important insight or teaching from your Walk. Bring this object or a clear memory of it home with you as a concrete reminder of that teaching.
You are encouraged to fast from food during this Walk. Fasting will help to focus you on the world around you and your inner process. You will find that fasting will clear your mind and open your body, deepening your experience. If you do decide to bring food, keep it simple such as a piece of fruit. In any case, be sure to drink plenty of water (one-half-gallon for a day’s walk is a minimum).
Keep in mind that your walk is more an inner journey than an outer, physical journey. This is not a time to strike off for the mountain peak or to practice your rock-climbing skills. Nor is it a time to pit yourself against nature in an attempt to prove your grandiosity. The spirit of the Medicine Walk is to balance spontaneity, sincerity, and openness with humility and respect for the presence of death. You might say it is more a time for being than doing, a time to contemplate rather than achieve.
When sunset comes, return home. You may be feeling tender and fragile. Be gentle with yourself and choose the kind of environment you would like to come back to. You may wish to continue your learning by writing in your journal or you may decide to visit with a friend who will listen to your story. Whatever you do, stay close to yourself and your feelings.
Adjust these instructions as you need. In our perspective, there is no single “right” way for this but rather many ways, each with its advantages and disadvantages. Your goals and constraints can guide you in these choices.
Beginning and End
The medicine walk is a process with a definite beginning and ending. These two points should be marked with ceremonies. The ceremonies will express your willingness to make the most of this experience and your respect for the power of this form. They will focus your attention on the present. You may choose a simple marker such as bowing with gratitude and respect to the earth or kneeling and offering some words to those powers which will guide you on your Walk. Perhaps you will leave an object at the start of your Walk and reclaim it at its end. Let the object represent something of your “ordinary” life and preoccupations that you will let go of for the duration of the Walk. You may design more elaborate ceremonies if you wish, incorporating the forms of your heritage or designing new forms to fit the moment.
Where
Choose an area where you can wander safely without concern for getting lost or assaulted. Heavily wooded areas, steep mountain slopes, or areas with many cliffs are to be used only with caution due to the risks of getting lost or falling. If you are relatively new to walking alone in natural areas, stay close to your car or prominent landmarks. It is best if you will not encounter other people on your walk but this may be difficult near large cities. If you do encounter others, a simple nod will suffice to let you continue on your way. Otherwise take the precautions you would walking alone anywhere.
After you Return
Much will happen to you during this walk. It is important that you take time to understand and integrate these learnings. Write in your journal and ask a close friend or guide to listen to your story. Try to identify the general "plot" of your medicine walk and to integrate the various images, plants, animals, weather, and physical features that came to you. There is no need to jump to simple or simplistic explanations of your experiences. Rather, take the time to come back to your experience again and again, understanding it in deeper ways.
Treat your experience as if it were a dream and begin the process of interpreting it and making it yours. If it were a dream, you would consider each element to have some deeper meaning and value to you. So it is with your walk. Recognize each element as representing an aspect of your psyche, an aspect of yourself which is more or less unconscious. If, for example, an unusual tree catches your attention, see that tree as an archetypal dream image, as a part of your inner life speaking to you through nature.
Examine your medicine walk as an expression of your relationship to nature: both outer nature (the physical world) and your inner nature (the psychic world). What about you was revealed in the mirror of nature? What thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, intentions came to you? How were they confirmed by the natural world? What gifts do you have to bring back to your People—your loved ones, the ones who support you and whom you wish to support, family, community, the whole including the Earth?
Steven Foster and Meredith Little (1988) described the purpose of the medicine walk this way:
A microcosmic form of the threshold trial [of the Hero’s Journey], the walk is a mirror that reflects the signs and symbols of your inward quest. ... As you wander, become aware of Nature’s awareness of you. Signs and symbols indicating your life purpose, inherent gifts, personal values or fears, will present themselves. As you discern the beauty of life and the reality of death in the world around you, ask yourself: “Who are my people?” Pay attention to who you think about, worry about, wish was with you, and so forth.
Examine your medicine walk as an expression of your current transition or life issues. Your walk may be a metaphor for transitions. Your preparations at home, the drive to the trailhead, and leaving your car correspond to the Severance phase of the transition, the ending of the previous stage of your life. The time you spend on the walk, away from your home and friends corresponds to the Threshold phase, the time between stages when your sense of identity and life direction is unclear. Going back to your car, driving back home, meeting your friends and family again correspond to the Return phase, coming into a new life stage and a new sense of your identity, rights, and responsibilities. How did you approach each of these three phases of your walk? How does that compare to how you are handling your current transition? How did you feel? What parts of your experience did you hold on to and what parts did you resist?
You may also see your walk as a reflection of your life's journey. Look at is as if it were a myth representing your life. Examine how you approached your walk, what meaning it had for you, how you made decisions, how you were accompanied by fear, deficiency, joy, or trust. What thoughts or images recurred? What people visited you through your fantasies? How did guidance come to you? What obstacles and powers were you granted? What blessings were offered? What was the central lesson?
Most of all, reflect on the answers to the question you took out with you. The answer may develop over some time; it may not even be clear when you return. However, by holding the question and your experiences on the medicine walk, you will get an answer.
The Gift: Your Medicine
Those who carry out traditional rites of passage understand that you do not go to the “Sacred Mountain” or the “Underworld” just for yourself. You also go for your “People.” Who are your People? With whom do you identify; who do you care about ? Going on a medicine walk incurs a responsibility to give back to your People.
What is your Medicine? A sense of your medicine may come in the form of an object like a stone, a flower, or an antler shed to make way for a new and more impressive one. It may come in a bird’s call, the shadow of a deer in the trees, or the whispers of a stream making its way back to its source.
How are you to find or know your medicine? It will almost certainly not be by searching for it or using your rational, logical mind to figure it out. Be open for a sign, use your intuition, be aware of sights, sounds, and feelings, and let it come to you. You may not understand it fully until some time after your walk but you will find a symbol of your medicine. If this symbol is immediately clear to you on your walk, accept it with wonder and gratitude. If not, accept it as a kind of seed crystal from which the fuller understanding of your medicine can grow. The symbol may creep up on the edges of your consciousness or it may stun you with breath-taking clarity. In any case, before your walk is completed, find a concrete symbol to bring home with you. Get to know it. Do not close off your understanding prematurely. Allow it to continue to grow.
Doing it “right”
It is natural to wonder if you are doing your walk in the proper way, especially if your circumstances lead you to modify your Walk from the model presented here. In a way, this concern is a sign that you have taken its potential to heart and that you recognize the power of this kind of activity. On the other hand, this worry can detract from your experience. If your concerns lead you closer to your personal experience and to a safe experience, welcome them. If your questions nag at you or begin to give you a hard time, tell them to take a walk! The principles here are not some external standard of rightness but potential and openness. Some ways of walking carry more potential and some ways carry less potential; some ways open your experience to new possibilities and some close it. Each choice you make can be in the direction of disclosing and opening your path and your particular gifts.
Cultural roots of medicine walks
A comment about the relation of this exercise to specific cultures’ spiritual practices is in order, too. Some people associate the practice of the medicine walk with Native Americans, and it can seem as if we are inappropriately using Native American Indian spiritual practices. It is important that we not misuse other cultures’ spiritual practices. We pay grateful respect to those Native Americans who have engaged in practices similar to the one described here. In many ways, it is due to their keeping such practices alive that we are drawn to this one.
At the same time, each of us comes from a long line of people who have practices very much like this one. Many cultures, perhaps even most cultures – Africans, Europeans, Asians, and others – around the world have developed similar practices in which people leave their homes to seek guidance and healing in the natural world away from contact with other people. We see all these practices, including our version of the medicine walk, arising from the same deep archetypal human roots. Rather than trying to borrow Native American spirituality, this version of a Medicine Walk offers a means to reclaim our own relationship with ourselves and our place.
Deepening your learning
Fully digested your medicine walk can go on for a long time. Many people who have undertaken this form of a medicine walk have found it useful to discuss their experiences with a guide, counselor, or close friend. We recommend that. We also recommend that you work with your journal to help you see more aspects of your medicine walk. Here are some questions you can answer with another person or in your journal. Use them as guides.
1. Why did you go on this medicine walk? What was the general plot, narrative, or story of your medicine walk? What happened?
2. What natural objects, plants, animals, weather, and physical features caught your attention? What might they have been “saying” to you?
3. What were the darkest parts? What were the brightest? What parts of your experience did you try to hold on to, and what parts did you try to push away?
4. Treat your experience as if it were a dream. Reexamine the answers to questions 1-3 as if you were describing a dream. What new meanings emerge?
5. How were you guided? What challenges or trials were presented to you? What blessings were you offered? What lessons did you receive? What tasks were you given?
6. How does your walk reflect your relationship to nature and to your own nature? What parts of yourself were reflected to you? How did you respond to them? How did your feelings and reactions to nature change after your walk?
7. How does your medicine walk mirror how you are handling your current transition? What encouragement did you gain? What do you need to remember in this transition?"
I took my Medicine Walk up in the wonderous mountains of Big Tesuque. I found my "place of power", close to a stream, sat down, took my shoes off, planted my toes in the earth and began practicing complete, silence, stillness, meditation and even speaking to the trees, the wind, the sky, the water...the universe. Being a composer and musician, I also began to hear a piece of music in my head, generated by Native American Chant, Drum and Grand Sounding Music. I recorded what I heard as soon as I returned home and appropriately titled the piece "VISION QUEST".
Listen Here:
Our Vision Quest in the Ojito Wildnerness would last six days. Two days and nights in base camp and four days and nights in complete seclusion, with nothing but water and a tarp and rope to build shelter. It was comforting to know that it was the other gentleman's participating first Vision Quest as well and that my partner was facilitating this extraordinary ceremony.
When we pulled onto the road which led to the Ojito Wilderness, near the ZIa Pueblo, I already felt a sense of coming home. The site where we pitched our base camp was aprroximately 20 to 30 ft above ground level and over looked a wonderous view of an enormous mesa directly opposite of us. I immediately started mentally creating land markers for myself, in case I went hiking and became disoriented about my direction. A friend of Amy's, an experienced camper and survivalist joined us about an hour after we arrived, as an observer and medical aid in case any of us needed immediate medical attention, which was comforting as well. We made our eating area/kitchen on ground level a coouple of hundred yards away from where we had pitched our tents, as a precaution to any predators, scavengers ie. coyote, mountain lion and bear.
The first evening at base camp, we particpated in a traditional Pipe Ceremony led by Amy and I felt as though we were already ingesting spirit, the land, the sky, the wind... One of the things I had to mentally prepare myself for, was not thinking of my partner Amy, as my partner, but as the Vision Quest Leader and sleeping in separate tents.(lol) I didn't find this to be difficult and it made me admire her even more. Either way, I so looked forward to the peacefulness of the Ojito Wilderness and sleeping under the stars.
The second day in base camp I was walking from the eating area, back up to the ceremonial space atop the rocks and I looked down on the ground and noticed something out of the ordinary, that did not look like a simple flat rock. I picked it up, examining it and noticed that I had stumbled upon a native american arrow head! Besides the 4 gallons of water, tarp, rope, air pad and backjack, I had brought 4 personal items with me. A six foot native american spear which I found while campiing in Big Tesuque with my partner Amy, which was my symbol of inner power, strength and protection, a machete, a hunting knife, a rattle (which I asked Amy to bring with me in seclusion for ceremony) and a medicine stick, I had made at a dear friends gathering during the holidays. I felt that the arrow head was such a significant find for me and a symbol of what I was doing, as well as what lied ahead of me over the next couple of days, especially being alone. During the day, we had all gathered in the ceremonial space to declare our intentions before embarking on our own into seclusion in the "great wide open" of the Ojito Wilderness. I fopund this to be extremely useful as I had coem with a long list of intentions, but we were able to consolidate it all into one powerful statement. So I stood up and shouted: "I am a man, David Michael Tardy who is here to discover my inner power!" Empowering this exercise indeed was, as I felt unstoppable after doing this. That day, not far from our eating area we had also built a medicine wheel together and prior to do this we were educated fully by Amy on what a medicine wheel is and its purppose. Amazing.
The second evening in base camp, we were "treated" to a powerful and windy thunderstorm. While laying in my sealed up tent, the only thought that went through my mind, was "how the hell and am I going to deal with these types of weather conditions with no tent and just a tarp and some rope. This made me nervous, as I had never fashioned any type of shelter with just a tarp and rope. Amy had already advised that if a storm gets too bad, we must "burrito" ourselves in our tarp and that way we would stay dry. I definitely was NOT looking forward to having to resort to this. Close to my tent, Amy and the other participant had set up a tarp for shade during the day, as the hot sun was brutal at times. That evening, during the storm, I was awoken by a loud sound which sounded like someone was taking their hand and slapping the tarp several times, but for some reaso, this did not scare me, as I felt "spirit" was letting us know of his or her presence. I slept very peacefully that night (no dreams of rattle snakes) and looked forward to the journey ahead the next morning.
The third morning, I woke up at sunrise to the beautiful orchestration of sounds in the Ojito, wide awake, eager and excited. I gathered my things, my back pack, 4 gallons of water, change of clothes, a coat, dry socks, a headlamp, lighter, a tarp, 100ft. rope, my hunting knife, a machete, my trusty spear, the native american arrowhead I found on day 2 (which I left as my symbol on the medicine wheel), my mp3 player, a garbage bag and Amy's ceremonial rattle.
We all met at the medicine wheel around 9am where Amy smudged us and from that point on, no words were said...we were entering into the spiritual realm. I excited the medicine wheel and headed towards the other side of an enormous mesa, not saying a word, not turning around, but the whole time keeping the last glimpse of Amy's beautiful face in my mind. The initial feeling was unlike anything I have ever felt. I almost felt like a small native american boy, going off on his own into the wild, to return a man. As I got further and further away from base camp, I rally began to feel the wieght of my back pack and really started asking myself, am I really physically able to meet this challenge. Four gallons of water may not seem or sound like alot, but it felt like humping a small person on my back in the hot sun, into uncharted territory and I began to feel the muscles in my legs start to burn, but I forged on, still excited. Again I felt like I was home, even though I had never done anything like this before. Camping, yes, but nothing like this and there really is no comparing the two.
As I reached the edge of the enormous mesa and started to work my way to the other side, I was greeted by tremendous, colorful natural rock structures, which I was in complete awe of. Immediately I felt alone....me and the Ojito Wilderness...alone and so very small.
As I continued to walk, I let my feet guide as well as my intuition. As I reached the other side of the mesa, I found myself continuing to the north, which I found relevant.
*North on the Medicine Wheel:
Lessons and gifts from the NORTH, the place of winter and elders, include:
Intellectual wisdom
Ability to complete tasks that began as a vision
Detachment from hate, jealousy, desire, anger, and fear
Ability to see the past, present, and future as interrelated
I continued in a northerly direction until I came to a rocky enclave. At that point I felt like I had been guided by spirit. I had found my place and I felt in my soul, this was my "place of power".
I placed my back pack down and started to think about where to build my shelter. I believed the rock enclave was a good start against strong desert winds. The above drawing is a terrible rendition but simply depicts the location I spent four days and night in seclusion. Again, I had no clue what kind of shelter I would build as I had never done this before, but I honestly felt like something took over, my spirit guide, my connection to mother earth, my connection to native american culture and my feeling of being "home again". I started to build... My tarp only 3 - 3 1/2 feet of the ground and slanting downwards to let any rain roll off of the bottom. I used several thick branches to cover the sides and the bottom to protect me against any strong side wind and rain and used the tree to the left as the top and used its branches to create a roof towards my head when I slept. It took me about 2 hours to build and was perfect. I then started to collect wood for the fires I would need in the nights to come. At all times, I had my spear and machete, remembering the vivid dreams of rattle snake I had been having. That eveing, I built a fire and rattled in ceremony, thanking the land for allowing me to stay there and asking for spiritual guidance and protection from my native american ancestors. At times I found myself going into deep trance and meditation and seeing an elderly native american man, with long white hair and white clothing, gently weaving in and out of the surrounding trees and bushes around me. I felt deep in my heart that this man was my spirit guide, protector and the owner of either the spear or arrow head I had found, or both. Again I felt very comfortable and safe and I slept very peacefully in the shelter I had built that night.
The next morning, day 3, I awoke at sunrise almost feeling like I was in a dreamlike state. I was not hungry, but I had the desire to walk the land with Amy's rattle, blessing the land and again thanking it for allowing me to stay there and again asking for spiritual guidance and protection. I ended up on top of an overlook with an amazing view of a valley. It was so majestic. My walk lasted for approximately 3 hours or more, as I felt that time was so insignificant out there. Three times of day, so simple, sunrise, mid-day and sunset. How simple and beautiful. I must have made my way back to my site around noonish as the sun was at iys highest point and blazingly hot. About 15 feet away from my shelter was a big tree that I amply called my "tree of life". That day I decided to sit at its base for shade with my back-jack which I also used as a mattress pad. I sat down and closed my eyes, very much still in a trance like state. I am not sure how long I sat, but I was gently awoken by a breeze, almost like someone blowing on your face or ear and my legs were extended out on the ground. I opened my eyes and suddenly noticed a coiled up rattle snake only two feet away from my feet. I jumped a little, startled of course and the snake immediatley raised, rattled and withing a spilt second, struck the bottom of my left foot, thank god I was wearing thick boots. Without thinking, I grabbed my spear sitting next to me, wacked the snake's head down and held it down with the tip of my spear, when to my left I heard another rattle, a larger rattle snake, just 15 ft. to the right of me. I got to my feet while still holding the one sanke head down with my spear and keeping a good eye on the snake to my right. So many emotions shot through my mind and body....I was shitting a brick, my adrenaline was pumped and at the same time I was in awe and excited that my dream was actually coming to fruition. I thought to myself: "Holy Crap! This is actually happening right now! Right at this moment! I decided to back myself away from the snake at least the length of my spear, in hopes of being able to let it up, kick some sand at it and the snake would be on its way. However, as soon as I let the snake up, it came after me very fast and very aggressively. I wacked its head down again with my spear, unclipped my machete from my side and took its head off. I looked to the right and the other snake had gone. This all happened so very fast, like the blink of an eye. I felt awful for having to kill the rattle snake, especially since I was a visitor in its domain. Still in somewhat of a dreamlike state, I heard a voice (my spirit guide I believe) tell me to skin the snake, cook it, eat it and do a ceremonial burial for the rattle snake, which I did. I even felt deep in my soul that this was the right thing to do. Ingest the medicine that this profound experience had provided for me. There is definitely nothing like skinning an animal while it's still moving in your bare hands and I quickly found out that the rattle snake was digesting a mouse. I cooked the snake over an open fire and ate half of its meat. The remains, I buried in the ground while rattling and thanking the snake and land for the medicine and I placed a desert rose on top of its grave. I also cut off its rattle and saved both the rattle and snake head to bring back with me for my Medicine Stick.
That evening I stayed up for a while, sitting in front of my fire, feeling like I was in another time and place...long ago.
*The snake animal meaning is powerfully connected to life force and primal energy. In many cultures, it is revered as a powerful totem representing the source of life. When the snake spirit animal appears in your life, it likely means that healing opportunities, change, important transitions, and increased energy are manifesting.
What is the meaning of the snake spirit animal?
When the snake shows up as your spirit animal, it generally means:
Snake spirit animals represent healing
Transformation, life changes
The spirit of the snake is connected to life force, primal energy
A meaning for the snake spirit animal is spiritual guidance
The snake as a spirit animal can be to provide guidance about life changes and transitions, whether they are happening at the physical, emotional or spiritual level.
Snake spirit animals, symbols for healing
The snake is close to earth energies and represents life force. Since it’s a reptile, the snake spirit animal is reminiscent of unconscious drives and primal instincts. When the snake spirit animal shows up, pay attention to how you use your energy, and where you draw it from.
If you see the snake as your spirit or power animal, be sensitive to your healing abilities towards yourself or others. Cultivate sources of energy and support, especially as they relate to the earth and nature.
In ancient traditions as well as modern times, snakes are symbols of healing powers and opportunities. In the Greek mythology, Aesclepius, the god of medicine, is featured with two snakes climbing up a rod, the symbol of what is known today as the Caduceus.
The snake and spiritual guidance
The snake can symbolize spiritual guidance. The presence of the snake in your life often means that you are in a period of transition and it points to ways promote your personal growth.
Snake could appear as a spirit animal when you are stepping into the unknown and need support to move forward. This animal is typically close to the ground and can remind you of staying grounded as you move through changes.
Dream interpretation of snakes
When a snake appears in your dreams, it most likely acts as an animal spirit guide inviting you to look at important facts or dynamics that are impacting your life. Snakes featured in dreams often leaves a strong impression on the dreamer: Such dreams tend to be frightening or disturbing because they call on strong unconscious energy.
Whether the snake spirit animal featured in your dream leaves a positive or negative impression, its presence should be considered as an invitation to look at positive changes and transformation.
The dark side of snakes in dreams
When the snake appears in your dream leaves you with a negative feeling, make sure you consider positive meanings as well. The snake spirit animal often appears in dreams as a warning about personal struggles and the need to pay attention to things or events that are escaping your field of awareness.
For instance, when you dream of being bitten or attacked by a snake, it could mean that you need to be careful about important matters you’ve been ignoring so far. If the spirit animal featured in your dream in the shape of a snake is chasing you, it may represent a challenging situation or relationship that you have been avoiding and is pushing you around.
The bottom line is that a dream featuring a snake invites you to check what in your life is “poisonous” and to look at important matters before they sneak up on you and create more damage or difficulty."
The fourth and last day, I awoke at sunrise again, feeling a sense of re-birth. I walked to a rocky edge and sat to watch the sunrise, while gazing into an enormous majestic valley. "I could really get used to this", I thought to myself. This, to me, was the REAL world. I stayed on the ledge for a while, meditating, when my peace and harmony with the lands, were alarmingly interrupted by the sounds of gunfire (automatic & semi-automatic weapons), which sounded like it was close by. At times, I thought I could even hear bullets whizzing by and ricocheting. Immediately my concern was directed to Amy, who was in base camp all by herself. So, having seen too many crazy, psychotic horror films, my imagination started creating terrifying scenarios. I immediately grabbed my spear, knife and machete and swiftly headed to a large rock formation, high off of the ground, where I could see base camp and the direction from where the gunshots were coming from. I stood on top of the rocks, hoping I could see Amy in base camp and hoping that she could see me as well. Finally I saw her moving from the tent area to the food area and I she could see me as well. (Such a comforting feeling). I was already establishing a fast and hidden route back to base camp, just in case. The entire time, I was also thinking how un-natural the gunshots sounded and how terrifying it must have been for Native Americans, when the settlers arrived. I sat on top of those rocks until the gunfire ceased and I could see the trucks leaving the Ojito Wilderness. Once I established that Amy was safe, I headed back to my shelter, to prepare for my last evening in seclusion. A raven was flying over head when I reached my shelter and I decided to take another walk to the peak and watch the sun set once more.
"If Raven comes to you:
If Raven has come visiting you it can mean any number of things. Most powerful of all is the synchronicity that Raven assures you is pending. He is a master of bending and folding time and space so that you are exactly in the right moment at the right time. As a messenger you are reminded that those around you are reflecting back at you the things you most have to learn about yourself.
Know that when Raven appears that magic is imminent. Raven is about rebirth, recovery, renewal recycling and certainly reflection and healing. He signifies moving through transitions smoothly by casting light into the darkness.
Raven as Your Totem
If Raven is your Totem animal you are very playful and creative. You have no fear of the dark, or the underworld and understand that there is a divine balance between the light and the dark. You find comfort in solitude and enjoy your own company. Raven seeks stillness and quiet, and prefer it to the constant onslaught of chatter and noise in our daily lives. You are wise and often are used as a messenger for others. The spirit world uses you as a bridge to the physical world to bring forth its messages."
On my way to the rocky ledge, I found myself looking down at the ground, when I stumbled across a sea shell. A sea shell? What the hell is a sea shell doing out in the middle of all of this dry, arid desert land? Oh yeah! This entire area, thousands of years ago was all under sea water!. How cool, to find a sea shell that old and out here!
This find brought me back to when I was a child and would carry around a portable record player and listen to the sounds of humpback whales for hours (drove my parents crazy). I rreached the rocky ledge and the sunset was more beautiful than ever. So many beautiful colors in the sky, reds, oranges, purples, blues and lavenders. As I sat there, I became saddened that this experience would be over soon and that I was enjoying such a "simplistic" way of life. My only thought was how to make this last, even when I return to civilization, the "real" world. I say that sarcastically as I felt I was in the real world out there in the Ojito and everything else is a fasod that we humans have created....industrialization, genocide.
The sun had set and I knew I had a long night ahead of me, as we were supposed to stay awake the entire final night whether in meditation, ceremony, fire gazing, as we were supposed to stay awake to receive any messages or visions. I had gathered enough fire wood to last more than the evening, which was a comfort. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I thought, do not "expect anything", just sit in stillness and complete silence even though I was still thinking about the experience with the rattlesnake and how close I came to possibly dying that day. I felt a huge sense of gratitude for the four days of seclusion in mother nature's arms. "Everyone" should experience a Vision Quest, was the prominent thought in my head.
Sometime after midnight I suppose, fatigue was really starting to set in and I felt as though I was slipping in and out of consciousness and as I gazed into the fire, I felt at times, I was sitting directly opposite of my Native American Spirit Guide and at times, even thought I heard chanting. I ceremoniously thanked the universe, rattlesnake, raven, butterflies and humingbird for all of their gifts and stated that I wanted to leave myself wide open for any other signs or messages, after I would depart these lands.
As I noticed the sky starting to turn light, I let my fire burn out as I started to gather my belongings to head back to base camp. The entire experience had passed much swifter than I anticipated and I was deeply saddened to leave, but anxious to get back to base camp. FOOD!!!!! We would re-enter base camp, the same as we had exited, through the medicine wheel. The hike back to base camp seemed longer than before, probably from exhaustion. As I approached base camp, I could see Amy lovely face and proud smile. I was so happy to see her and felt such a deep sense of pride and strength, which had never felt before. Amy had prepared a wonderful vegetable soup for our return, with fruit and boiled eggs. YUM! Food has NEVER tasted better! We ate and then met up on the rocks at the Ceremonial Circle to share our experiences.
As we took turns sharing our experiences for the past four days and nights, one thing was evident. Powerful forces had been at work and still were. The one words that immediately came to mind were: Connection, Alignment & Oneness. Even though the three of us were separated for 4 days, we were all still connected in our experiences somehow. Beautiful indeed. Amy had pulled Spirit Animal Medicine Cards for us while we were in seclusion and my card was EAGLE SPIRIT.
"Eagle medicine is the power of the Great Spirit, the connection to the Divine. It is the
ability to live in the realm of spirit, and yet remain connected and balanced within the realm of
Earth. Eagle soars, and is quick to observe expansiveness within the overall pattern of life.
From the heights of the clouds, Eagle is close to the heavens where the Great Spirit dwells.
The fathers of Eagle are considered to be the most sacred of healing tools. They have
been used for centuries by shamans to cleanse the auras of patients coming to them for healing.
Within the belief systems of Native American tribes, Eagle represents a state of grace achieved
through hard work, understanding, and a completion of the tests of initiation which results in the
taking of one's personal power. It is only through the trial of experienced the lows in life as well
as the highs, and through the trial of trusting one's connection to the Great Spirit, that the right to
use the essence of Eagle medicine is earned.
If you have pulled this symbol, Eagle is reminding you to take heart and gather your
courage, for the Universe is presenting you with an opportunity to soar above the mundane levels
of your life. The power of recognizing this opportunity may come in the form of a spiritual test.
In being astute, you may recognize the places within your soul, personality, emotions, or psyche
that need bolstering or refinement. By looking at the overall tapestry, Eagle teaches you to
broaden your sense of self beyond the horizon of what is presently visible.
In learning to fiercely attack your personal fear of the unknown, the wings of your soul
will be supported by the ever-present breezes which are the breath of Great Spirit.
Feed your body, but more importantly feed your soul. Within the realm of Mother Earth
and Father Sky, the dance that leads to flight involves the conquering of fear and the willingness
to join in the adventure that you are co-creating with the Divine.
If Eagle has majestically soared into your cards, you are being put on notice to reconnect
with the element of air. Air is of the mental plane, and in this instance, it is of the higher mind.
Wisdom comes in many strange and curious forms and is always related to the creative force of
the Great Spirit.
If you have been walking in the shadows of former realities, Eagle brings illumination.
Eagle teaches you to look higher and to touch Father Sun with your heart, to love the shadows as
well as the light. See the beauty in both, and you will take flight like the Eagle.
Eagle medicine is the gift we give ourselves to remind us of the freedom of the skies.
Eagle asks you to give yourself permission to legalize freedom and to follow the joy your heart
desires."
Later that evening, when Amy and I returned home, we had unpacked and settled in and we were headed out to our patio to sit and I noticed an animal scurry behind our grill. "Was that a skunk?" I asked Amy. "No, I think it was a cat," Amy replied. We sat for a minute and Amy went back into the house. About a minute later, a skunk surfaces from under the grill and just strolls right passed me. Wow! That's odd! I yelled to Amy what had just happened, so we looked up the significance of the skunk.
Skunk: Reputation
This furry little animal has a reputation that contains a great deal of power. Due
to its distinctive behavior, humans give this tiny, smelly creature a wide berth. The
keyword here is respect.
Unlike other predatory animals, Skunk does not threaten your life but threatens
your senses. You know this to be true if you have even been in the vicinity of its spray.
In observing the habit patterns of Skunk, it is easy to notice the playfulness and
nonchalance of its natural behavior. The "I-dare-you" attitude of this four-legged creature
commands you, as the observer, to respect its space by mere reputation alone.
Skunk is teaching you that by walking your talk and by respecting yourself, you
will create a position of strength and honored reputation. The carriage of your body
relates to others what you believe about yourself. There is no need to bully, aggravate,
torment, or overpower other being when your sense of "self" is intact. As with Skunk, the
resonant field of energy around your body is relayed through the senses. Self-esteem
permeates the body's energy, and is instantly recognized on an extrasensory level by
others.
Learn to assert, without ego, what you are. Respect follows. Your self-respectful
attitude will repel those who are not of like mind, and yet will attract those who choose
the same pathway. As the odor of Skunk attracts others of its kind, it repels those who
will not respect its space.
Skunk medicine people have the ability to attract others, and they are very
charismatic. At the same time, the other side of their natural power is to repel those who
seek to take energy from them without recycling the gifts they have taken.
Skunk medicine people also know how to use the energy flows that will attract a
lover. Some people call this sexual magic, as it is akin to the musk scent that animals
excrete to attract a mate. It can be dangerous to leak sexual energy if you are not looking
for a mate. It puts you into a games condition that may feed your ego but not how others
feel about you. If you are attracting others who have an interest in you, you are in a sense
saying, "I'm available." This can cause hard feelings when the truth comes out. It also
leaks energy that you could have used in a more constructive way.
In Skunk medicine, it is good to learn how to handle energy flows. Modern
psychologists call this body language. In tribal teachings, this is your person medicine
which you are showing to others. Use your medicine well, and know that you are known
by your reputation. How you use your energy will attract either honor or disgrace. You
may want to examine what energy you are putting out that creates your present situation.
The next day, I had gathered all of the gifts I had returned from the Ojito with and built an alter outside, a place for meditation and reflection. My conclusion from the whole experience is, DO IT! Vision Quest was the most profound amazing experience. Stillness and Silence were key factors for me. Thank you Amy for facilitating the Vision Quest and for all of the gifts it had to offer me. One thing is for sure....this will NOT be my last Vision Quest. AHO!
*If anyone (which I highly recommend) is interested in participating or learning more about Vision Quest, please contact Amy Finlayson at INNERNAVIGATION.com
